Tuesday, March 26, 2013

a little tuesday encouragement

                                                                          Source: gagthat.com via Lindsay on Pinterest




                                                                    Source: alliebabba.tumblr.com via Lindsay on Pinterest


                                                                         Source: myrevelment.com via Lindsay on Pinterest
                                                           Source: godsradicaldaughter.tumblr.com via Lindsay on Pinterest










                                                 Source: love-remains-the-same.tumblr.com via Lindsay on Pinterest

Monday, March 25, 2013

the truth about having a baby

                                                              Source: fortheloveofmegan.tumblr.com via Lindsay on Pinterest
                                                                            Source: etsy.com via Lindsay on Pinterest



Everyone tells you that once you have a baby everything changes. They are right- you get less sleep, darker bags under your eyes, and date night changes from dinner and a movie out to whispering in bed before falling asleep by 9. Not all changes are bad. I have had more joy in my days in the last 6 months than I ever have before. After the initial "oh my- its too early to be awake," I look into my smiling baby's morning eyes and wonder what the day will hold. Will he learn to crawl today? Will he perfect his posture while sitting and chewing on a toy? Will he capture my heart with his belly laugh while I spend a good 1/2 hour making faces and silly noises? Man, I love this kid. But- the downside of this love is the immense fear that comes along with it. I hear the news reports of babies being shot in Chicago, parents that lose their cool and shake their little newborn, and yes- the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting that left me paralyzed with fear for weeks. No one tells you about that part. They don't say that you hold your breath every time you walk out the door without them or that you'll spend the first 3 months of their life watching them as they sleep to make sure their breaths are even.  And they don't tell you how much deeper your love can go- how the moment you see this little face you know full well that you would take a bullet for this stranger you met only seconds before. Oh this little man. I suppose the fear is worth the incredible love that comes along with it.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

woah, daddy



One of the best things I have done in my life is snagging my catch of a husband. Really- without him I wouldn't be living this wonderful life, with this wonderful baby who has stolen my heart. Paul has always been a great husband to me and I honestly consider myself incredibly lucky. He is a better person than me- no doubt. He is kind, loving, patient, never raises his voice, laughs with his whole heart, and really cares about people. He makes me laugh on a daily basis. Every time we get gas he buys coffee or gatorade for the attendant. He even knows that the gas station attendant we see most often had a trip planned to Mexico- but it was canceled because he and his wife split up. Who knows those intimate details about a man you see three or four times a month? It always amazes me. And of course I am sitting in the car saying "come on, Paul! We're running late!" He gently reminds me that no where we are going is worth missing the chance to love on someone. What a good man. 

But- I think more than anything- Paul is an amazing dad. I fell in love with him ten times more when I watched his hovering over a crying Henry as the nurse changed his diaper in the hospital, knowing he could do it better. He loves this kid. He is constantly taking time to throw him in the air. He gets the best giggles out of Henry before bed time! I love that my son really knows his dad. When Henry was a newbown, Paul would burp him and cuddle, and when I would come down from my 5 minute shower or finally brushing my teeth that day and reach for my sweet baby, Paul would literally not give him to me! It was his turn and he was taking full advantage of the sweet moments he got with his brand new son. He really is such a joy to Paul, and that warms my heart. So even more than Paul being the husband of my dreams- he is the father I know Henry is blessed to have. I am overjoyed to see how this relationship continues to grow. I know it will include countless trips to Home Depot, lots of wrestling and rough play moms just don't understand and baseball games galore. Now I am left to wonder just how much trouble they will get in together....

Friday, March 15, 2013

Giving Her Grace



I recently did some serious spring cleaning. I didn't even mean to- it was truly by accident. You see, my little man (5 months) was down for a nap and I figured I would get a few things done while I had a minute. He hasn't  always been an awesome napper so I thought I had 45 minutes at the most. Well- fast forward 2 1/2 hours (!) and I had completely revamped our closet! Goodbye old pre-pregnancy t-shirts that have yet to come off the shelves since baby. Adios old way-too-short pajama bottoms. And yes, see you later husbands t-shirts that he just cant get rid of, yet hasn't worn in 2 years. Its amazing the things you can get done in 2 1/2 hours when you work as though you only have a small chunk of time! So freeing... Anyways- I found an old box of pictures from my freshman and sophomore years of college. Best time of my younger years, for sure. I was carefree, experiencing a whole new phase of life, making life long friends, and hopelessly in love with my now husband. And you know what- that happiness showed in my face. I was perfectly tanned, had a cute figure, and my smile was wide. I miss her! Fast forward 7 years and my tan is non-existant, my little figure is now plagued with pregnancy stretch marks and big ol' hips, and my smile has a little more hesitancy behind it. Maybe I have just grown up and see the world from a whole different view now, but regardless, I missed the girl in those pictures. I missed feeling beautiful just waking up. I missed being carefree, with school being my biggest responsibility. And I missed that feeling of dating my husband, rather than fitting in some chats about finances, baby and schedules before drifting off into a deep sleep by 9 pm. Now, I don't dislike my life- in fact I am incredibly content with where I am in life now. Rather- I miss how I felt in those days. I feel like I have let myself down.

Then- I realized- I need to give that girl some grace. The girl who meal plans, budgets, changes diapers, makes dinner, plans date night, and keeps life afloat. I need to remind her that she can still be that carefree girl she was 8 years ago. I need to give her grace to be the woman God has created her to be and live the beautiful life He has blessed her with. Afterall- she needs all the grace she can get!

love this big

Sometimes I have a really hard time putting my little man to sleep. There are definitely nights when I breathe a sigh of relief when he finally closes his eyes and settles into a good sleep, but tonight isn't one of those nights. Tonight I feel lonely. Not the "need-a-friend-to-keep-me-company" lonely- but the kind where I feel like something is missing. And it is. My boy is missing from my arms. My new best friend who smiles at me, laughs with me, goes almost everywhere I do. We are constantly chatting, discussing the meaning of life, looking into each other's eyes while someone drools way too much. On the few precious nights when he is just so tired he falls asleep in my arms I think to myself "ok- in 2 more minutes I'll set him down." But two minutes goes too fast, so I settle for four. And I put him in his crib, that he still seems way too small for, and I leave. Only to immediately turn on the video monitor and watch his sweet self smile his way into a dream state. I think it is a pretty beautiful gift that God gave us this much love for our children. That he gave our hearts the ability to grow so much bigger with love for our babies, and to feel that overflow even at 2 am when that sweet child wakes you with his little cooing. My heart feels so full tonight.