Friday, June 14, 2013

Judgey Judgey

I was embarrassed by a little girl the other day. Like... maybe 10 years old. I'm still not too proud of myself for the way my heart reacted- even a week later. Here's how it went down:

Henry (8 1/2 months) and I were out at the fountain near our house playing and splashing in the water...with about 25 of our neighborhood children. It was chaotic to say the least. I was holding Henry under the armpits as he splashed and played along. Up walks a little girl who looks at Henry and starts flirting. This is nothing new, as my son is pretty freaking adorable. Anyway- She asked if he was able to walk on his own. I sweetly said "no, not yet! He's learning though! He's still learning to crawl!" I thought this was a normal response and figured she had no idea at what age babies walked anyway. But- the little lady looked at me with some serious judgement and stated:

"My cousin is ten months and shes walking."

ugh. The dreaded comparison and judgement based of what your child is doing. Yes, this was a little girl, but I feel like this has been a constant in my new motherhood life since Hank was born. And its so sad because I feel like moms do this all the time. I wonder if we are so worried about our kids and their progress that we feel the need to constantly compare and point out ways our little one is more advanced. Or if we see our parenting as the best and most obvious way to raise babies. Regardless- it breaks my mommy heart. Because we, as mothers, should be building each other up- not judging based on whether a mom put sunscreen on diligently enough. Its sad, really. A few things I hear around parks and pediatrician waiting rooms:

"Oh, you aren't breastfeeding anymore? Are you sure you tried everything?"
"Wow- 15 months and you're still breastfeeding.... that seems long..."
"You don't make your own baby food?"
"You still rock her to sleep?"
"Here's what you should do..."

I wish we could put a stop to this momma drama. I struggled with breastfeeding from day one- and I am incredibly happy I was able to make it to 6 months. For me- that was a victory. But I consistently felt I had to justify myself in certain settings. I still feel that way. And giving up breastfeeding was hardest mainly because I felt that I was letting Henry down. Not necessarily because of the actual act of giving him formula rather the breast milk, but based on the fact that everyone said its was I should be doing. But once I stopped- I was able to be a more relaxed mother. And Henry has been just fine. I don't think we should label moms, put them in boxes, or throw anymore judgement their way. After all- aren't we just doing the best we can?








Thursday, June 13, 2013

they fill my heart with gladness







I have had the privilege of knowing these wonderful women since we were 12 years old. We were just babies then. Our biggest stressor was which homeroom class we would get placed in, whether one of the Justins had a crush on us, and whose house we would spend the night at after the football game. We have faced real life together- tough life. We have gone through hardships, sadness, breakups, and failed pregnancies. We have also gone through the amazing things- watching our lives change as we meet our real loves, celebrating a new beginning with some beautiful weddings, and watching each one of us find our way and follow our dreams. Now- we get the enjoy the excitement of expanding bellies and expanding families. I am so blessed by these women and cannot believe how long we have gotten to be in each other's lives! Here's to many more years of blessings and growth.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Where do I call home? Hillsboro, Oregon


I wanted to connect with The Influence Network link up about where I am from. Its a small story, not one with a lot of fuss or excitement, but one that has brought me and my little family to a place we call home.

I lived in Reno, Nevada until 4th grade, then moved to Portland, Oregon. Hubby has lived in Hillsboro (a little farm town-turned suburb outside Portland) since he was little. We both went outside the city for college and spent most of our teen years in the Portland area. When we got married, we wanted to leave town, maybe go to a whole new state and try something different. Hillsboro is the furthest we got! My husband started volunteer fire fighting in Hillsboro, so we ended up staying longer than we wanted. Now I am in love with this little town. We live downtown where we walk to the farmers market every weekend, hit-up my neighborhood starbucks like its my day job (which it kind of is now that I stay home with the baby...) and know our neighbors as friends. We're a good 1/2 hour from family, but its home to us and a place we will most likely stay for a while.

Thanks for listening to my first ever link-up!