Monday, October 7, 2013

hunger

I'm hungry.

But not the type of hungry that makes me want to eat  (though anything chocolatey sounds pretty good right about now...). No its the kind of hunger that makes me realize an emptiness that needs filling. A space that feels void, but not really knowing how to make it disappear. I spend my days spending money on things, just lots of things, that fill this space for a moment. Yesterday it was a new, pretty shower curtain (funny how small things can matter like that!) and a Type A breakdown of my laundry and weekly goals chart. 


I try.
I make meal plans.
I grocery shop.
I plan out the days.
and the weeks.
and the months.
I clean up the toys
and I clean up the dishes.
But at the end of the day the emptiness is still there, waiting, hoping to be filled. 

Very gradually I am learning that all these things are not what my heart desires. Only after I spend my time in truth and the Word will I feel the emptiness make its way out of my hours, then my days, then my heart.




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